She's in her quarters when the explosion rattles the ship. Her heart wants to sink; she hurries out of her quarters to get the report on what the frak just happened.
Helo is grim when he tells her Mathias is dead -- gods, Mathias is dead -- but nobody dares to get in her way once she turns her back on them and storms below to yell at the frakking Cylon she was dumb enough to let aboard.
Leoben starts to rise when she enters his makeshift cell, asking if she's okay, and she rears back to punch him in his lying mouth. "What'd you do?" Anger scratches in her throat. "Blow the tylium stores?"
Mouth bleeding, he meets her eyes. "That's the Kara I used to know."
"The Raider's in pieces, you motherfrakker!" She doesn't stop, can't stop; she wants to beat him until he can't say another word, until her own knuckles bleed. Until he fights back, and then more until he can't. Until it's satisfying. "Sergeant Mathias is dead, not that you give a damn."
"You can't think I had anything to do with it."
"I wasn't even on the deck. I was too busy believing you instead of watching out for my crew."
"My ship was under fire," he protests, never lifting a hand to strike back. "The reactor could've been damaged."
"It was a set-up!" Her fist connects with his jaw. "Say it!"
He spits out blood. "Hit me. Hit me again."
"You used me," she rasps, sweat in her eyes and blood on her hands, "to get close to the ship."
"How may times did you kill me on New Caprica? Don't stop now." How can he sound so calm? "Go on," he urges. "Do it. I won't come back this time, I promise. Resurrection ship's well out of range. Go on, do it. Do it!"
Pushing him to the floor, she towers over him with her fists clenched and can't. She can't. Deflating, she sinks to the floor, her knees up in front of her like a wall between them. "What are you doing to me?"
"All of your life you forced back the truth by lashing out at everyone around you, anesthetizing yourself with ambrosia and empty affairs, but you've lost the taste for those petty things."
Her fingers claw at her hair. "I'm the same person."
"No. There's a void, an emptiness that can only be filled by taking the next step on your journey."
She leans forward, voice so low it's almost a whisper. "What happened to me in the two months I was missing?"
He pauses, barely. "I don't know."
Is he frakking kidding? Her eyebrows furrow. "The mandala? The paintings? My mother? It had to mean something."
"You have to make peace with your past."
"Why?"
Blood drips around his mouth, staining angry red pathways down his lips and chin; he takes no notice of it. "Because that part of you is gone. I told you when I first came aboard this ship that you had changed. I look at you now and I don't see Kara Thrace. I see--" His eyes search her face. "An angel blazing with the light of God. An angel eager to lead her people home."
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Helo is grim when he tells her Mathias is dead -- gods, Mathias is dead -- but nobody dares to get in her way once she turns her back on them and storms below to yell at the frakking Cylon she was dumb enough to let aboard.
Leoben starts to rise when she enters his makeshift cell, asking if she's okay, and she rears back to punch him in his lying mouth. "What'd you do?" Anger scratches in her throat. "Blow the tylium stores?"
Mouth bleeding, he meets her eyes. "That's the Kara I used to know."
"The Raider's in pieces, you motherfrakker!" She doesn't stop, can't stop; she wants to beat him until he can't say another word, until her own knuckles bleed. Until he fights back, and then more until he can't. Until it's satisfying. "Sergeant Mathias is dead, not that you give a damn."
"You can't think I had anything to do with it."
"I wasn't even on the deck. I was too busy believing you instead of watching out for my crew."
"My ship was under fire," he protests, never lifting a hand to strike back. "The reactor could've been damaged."
"It was a set-up!" Her fist connects with his jaw. "Say it!"
He spits out blood. "Hit me. Hit me again."
"You used me," she rasps, sweat in her eyes and blood on her hands, "to get close to the ship."
"How may times did you kill me on New Caprica? Don't stop now." How can he sound so calm? "Go on," he urges. "Do it. I won't come back this time, I promise. Resurrection ship's well out of range. Go on, do it. Do it!"
Pushing him to the floor, she towers over him with her fists clenched and can't. She can't. Deflating, she sinks to the floor, her knees up in front of her like a wall between them. "What are you doing to me?"
"All of your life you forced back the truth by lashing out at everyone around you, anesthetizing yourself with ambrosia and empty affairs, but you've lost the taste for those petty things."
Her fingers claw at her hair. "I'm the same person."
"No. There's a void, an emptiness that can only be filled by taking the next step on your journey."
She leans forward, voice so low it's almost a whisper. "What happened to me in the two months I was missing?"
He pauses, barely. "I don't know."
Is he frakking kidding? Her eyebrows furrow. "The mandala? The paintings? My mother? It had to mean something."
"You have to make peace with your past."
"Why?"
Blood drips around his mouth, staining angry red pathways down his lips and chin; he takes no notice of it. "Because that part of you is gone. I told you when I first came aboard this ship that you had changed. I look at you now and I don't see Kara Thrace. I see--" His eyes search her face. "An angel blazing with the light of God. An angel eager to lead her people home."